Music and it's effects

The best way to describe my entire life (so far) is through song.
That particular song is Clair de Lune by Claude Debussy.

I decided this in the right wing of Ursuline's stage during a Pajama Game rehearsal.  I had been listening to the song at night because it was calming and it made me relax as I rested my head on the pillow.  When I decided that it most perfectly described my life, I was focusing on the rhythm and the pitch of the notes in certain parts of the song.  It was almost as if I were to put together little video clips of my life from when I was a child all the way till now (and even beyond) with Clair de Lune playing in the background.  Ending on a hopeful sounding chord, it gives hope that everything will turn out alright.  This is what I thought five years ago, I still think that today.  Except, I've added one more perspective to it.  I've taken a step back and looked at the piece as a whole and have realized that it is beautiful.

That is a perfect way to describe my life -- beautiful.

But Clair de Lune is not the reason I am writing; it is because of another song.

When I like a song, I listen to it a lot.  I listen to it over and over again maybe 20 or 30 times.  I know this isn't the "normal" way to listen to music but this is just the way I "take in" music.  I find a song that is particularly good or meaningful and listen to it over and over again.  You might think, "Don't you get sick of it?"  Well, sometimes I do.  But most of the time I don't because the song doesn't suddenly transform into a bad song.  Usually what happens is I find a new song and begin to listen to it and (usually) I find a new song regularly.  It is quite strange for me to stick to listening to one song for days in a row without a break.

I am stuck listening to this song and it has been two days and I don't see an end in sight anytime soon.

It is a good song.  It has been out for a while.  I always knew it was there but it wasn't meaningful enough for me to get my attention.  Well, times have changed and now this song (or at least it's music video) means a great deal to me now.  It popped up on my radar 2 days ago and it follows me everywhere.  If you were to follow me to class, you would hear me humming it (or maybe singing it).  Even during my PE class it was played on the radio and I couldn't believe it and my handball game was severely effected (negatively) because I was singing along in my head during the game.  I even learned to play it on guitar so all the rooms around me have heard me playing it and singing it.

What I'm getting at is, this song means a whole lot more to me now more than ever and that is why I can't get enough of it.  I need to hear it, sing it, play it as often as possible.

This is art influencing (or imitating) life.  This song reflects my life right now.  Just like Clair de Lune reflects my life as a whole, this song reflects my life now.  It isn't particularly encouraging.  It isn't particularly making my smile.  What it is doing is making me feel the way I feel.  I am not escaping my feelings.  Instead I am releasing them in art.  It might not be my art (when I listen to the song) but, then again, it might be my art (when I play it on guitar and sing it).

Right now art is a release of emotion.  Denying emotion is unhealthy.  It winds me up.  Knowing how I feel and releasing it in art is relieving.

I have never been an "artist" like this (at least knowingly) [I'm more of the science type].  Sure one can argue that acting is "performing art."  But it isn't expressing your personal feelings (unless you act as yourself); it is expressing the feelings of the character you are playing.

This song is "me" right now.  There was another song that was "me" a few weeks ago (and it lasted 4 weeks).  I guess I just have to wait to find out the song that will be "me" next.

Be true.  Don't hide who you are.  Be yourself.